Sunday, February 21, 2010

homicide

I'm writing this entry from my patio, while drinking coffee, on a 60 degree sunny day in Atlanta. You'd think I'd be in a better mood. :) A lot of my blog entries have been about Starbucks because I frequent Starbucks and funny things tend to happen to me at Starbucks. Well, since I've moved closer to a Publix, I'm starting to frequent Publix as well. If you ever hear of a woman going ape shit in a Publix on a Sunday in Atlanta, it's probably me.

My trip to Publix was preceded by a trip to Starbucks (surprise). I went inside only to be greeted by 6 people in line in front of me. Fabulous. The couple that was at the counter, placing their order, apparently were a rare breed because it seemed that they had never been to a Starbucks before... or they were completely retarded. After they finished ordering, the man excused himself to the restroom and the lady just stood there... at the counter... like a goon. Eventually she made her way down to the drink pick up counter. Eight hours later, I placed my drink order. Now, it's hard to explain this type of anger, unless you've experienced it before, when your drink never comes up and the people that were in line behind you are getting their drinks. I made my way to counter, trying to suppress the rage that was consuming me and managed to explain that I must have been skipped. I had ordered a grande (medium) size drink and my apology came in the form of a venti (large) size drink. So... what if I had actually ordered a venti? Would my apology have come in the form of two drinks? Grr...

So, I leave Starbucks and head to Publix. I needed three items. I get to the spaghetti sauce aisle. As I'm entering the aisle, a couple, who are entering the aisle in front of me, separate because wifey/girlfriend needs to go pick up something in another aisle. The couple like hugs goodbye and shit. Oh my God. Please move. So I grab my spaghetti sauce after playing Twister with some woman and her damn cart. Right hand blue, bitch. Please move. I get towards the end of the aisle and get stuck behind boyfriend/husband who apparently was waiting for wifey/girlfriend that went to another aisle. He's walking at a snails pace, checking his phone and not paying attention to any damn thing around him. Meanwhile, two ladies are walking towards me and feel the need to walk side by side. So, as I try to pass husband/boyfriend, I get tangled between his stupid cart and the dumb broads that are walking side by side and I trip. Thanks. Finally, I make my way to the checkout. Again, reiterating that I had three items. Checkout guy puts my food in two bags. What the f*ck are you doing? I guess instead of worrying about the bread being on top, he just decided to give the bread it's own separate bag.

I need my own separate bag... to smother myself with.

1 comment:

Matt Rich said...

Emily,

Hey, it's Matt Rich. First, that was hilarious. Second, since I'm off facebook I didn't have a way to get in touch with you. Our awesome law firm receptionist (routinely cited by clients as one of their favorite things about the firm) is looking to relocate to Atlanta. Any heads up on legal receptionist jobs that may be open. Hit me back at mrich86@hotmail.com if you know of anything.

Also, saw your brother Jeff not too long ago. Hope your mood has improved after posting this blog entry.

Adios,
Matt