I went to the grocery on Sunday around 8pm. Primetime for weirdos at the grocery, apparently. I got halfway through the store, stopped to pick up some cottage cheese, and a man approached me from out of nowhere. He said "I love your haircolor. Is that natural?" I told him no and then he proceeded to ask me what color it is and what color they use on my hair. Ok- a) why do you care? are you planning on dying your hair this color? b) my hair is obviously brown with tints of red- how do you think they make this color, genius? by mixing red and brown perhaps? Perhaps you should go back to 1st grade art class.
So I get my cottage cheese and move on to the dairy section in the back of the store. As I'm quickly strolling down the aisle, another man stops me and says, "Excuse me," as he holds up a pack of shredded cheese, "can you melt this?" WHAT? He goes on to ask if you can melt it and pour it on stuff like broccoli. Dude, it's cheese.
I FINALLY made it to the front of the store only to have to wait in line behind 6 people at the checkout. The man in front of me thought he saw another checkout line about to be opened so he went over to the other line only to learn that it was a Kroger employee checking out another Kroger employee. When he realized this, he yelled "Y'all need to open another line!" and then walked back to his spot in front of me. He THEN turns to me and says, "This is like waiting at the bank!" Umm.. ok. He continues, "You know, I just got back from Tampa and everyone wants to wait on you there- you sit down at a restaurant and BAM! You get drinks, salad, bread before you can even count to 2! You know, I'm from Georgia, and I'm really starting to hate this state." Dude, over a long check out line at Kroger? Seriously? He finally made it to the checkout belt and he holds up his Cherry Cordial ice cream and says, "You see this here? This stuff is addicting." I don't care. Finally he was paying and he continues, "I went to Florida once and basically gave 3 pints of blood to the state bird. Mosquitoes. At night, you run your hands across your leg like this, you come up with a whole handful of those suckers!"