Wednesday, August 29, 2007

maybe you had to be there

This may be one of those stories where you actually did have to be there to think it was funny but I'm going to put it on here just so I can remember this story. Malik and I went out to lunch last Saturday to a place called Azios that has various pasta dishes, pizza, and salads. We were finishing up our food and a couple sat down two tables away from us. The staff brings the couple a salad and sets it in the middle of the table. Azios is the type of restaurant where you order your food at the register, they give you a number, and the staff brings the food to the table. I say this because anyone with manners would realize that if you need something, you should go back up to the counter- no one is waiting on you.
Anyway, so this couple start devouring their salad. One of the staff walk by to clean up a table. The guy eating the salad (with his mouth full) keeps saying "sir, sir, sir" to the guy cleaning the table. Finally, the guy cleaning hears the salad eating guy. The guy eating salad (with his mouth still full) says "There's no CHICKEN in my CHICKEN salad." The Azios guy is like "huh? no chicken?" Idiot eating the salad repeats himself (mouth full, trying to be funny) "There's no CHICKEN in my CHICKEN salad." Azios guy says, "Lemme go get you some chicken." Idiot eating the chicken without chicken salad (still stuffing salad in his mouth while talking) says, "Could you just bring some hummus?", then points at the salad and says, "Cause this is about to be gone!" Ya think?

Thursday, August 23, 2007

this explains a lot

thanks to a fancy camera, my cousin was able to capture my mom in her true form.

everyone, my mom...is... an... alien.


Friday, August 17, 2007

bored, vick, and hunting

I'm totally bored today. I think I've looked at every page on the internet. Click link if you don't believe me : http://home.att.net/~cecw/lastpage.htm


Everyone is waiting on news of Michael Vick's plea deal. I could care less.


Here's an old pic of me at the movie arcade when Malik and I were waiting for a movie to start- can't remember what movie it was that we were seeing. Must have been a good one. Anyway, I was playing Extreme Hunting. I was not able to shoot one damn thing with my big safety orange rifle. Malik managed to take a pic of me while I was entering (shooting) my initials after I lost the game. Apparently you lose if you don't shoot anything. I think the picture is funny because you can see "Extreme Hunting" at the top of the game and then I'm shooting the alphabet. Nice. And I look quite intense for shooting letters.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

confused and annoyed

The title of this blog is confused and annoyed. Let's address the confused part first. There is a person at my job that uses the word "chunk" when talking about throwing something away, ie "No one is using those files so go ahead and chunk them." Huh? This use of the word chunk has confused me. Maybe it's a southern thing. For all of my northern friends, or anyone with an opinion, is the correct word chuck or chunk? Or am I just thoroughly confused?
Now to the annoyed part of this post. Football season is upon us and I am totally excited. I will not be excited, however, if I have to see "Viva Viagra" commercials all season. I'm sure Elvis is so totally stoked that his song "Viva Las Vegas" has been remade for a commercial about ED. And furthermore, why are the guys in the commercial sitting around singing a song about a drug for ED? Seriously, I do not want to see this crap all season. The network should go ahead and chunk this stupid commercial.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Kenny Rogers



Here we have pictures of two Kenny Rogers. One a pitcher for the Detroit Tigers and the other a country singer.
Last night Malik and I were watching Baseball Tonight on ESPN. ESPN showed a picture of Kenny Rogers, the pitcher, and I asked Malik who he was.
Malik said, "That's Kenny Rogers. You know (begins to sing) 'On the road again, can't wait to get on the road again'."
I said, "You idiot that's Willie Nelson."
Malik sings, "Footloose, footloose..."
I said, "You idiot that's Kenny Loggins. Kenny Rogers sings The Gambler."
Malik says oh, sits there quietly for a sec, then leans over and in my ear sings,
"And the thunder rolls..."
ARG!!

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Good times


1. After refilling my gas tank for $812.37, I continue down the road only to find a gas station that has cheaper gas. This always happens to me. Good times.
2. There is a certain shade of purple that looks really good on me. This shade of purple just happens to be the same color as Barney.. the purple T rex bastard who conveys learning through jumping around singing children's songs with a friendly, annoyingly optimistic attitude. I bought a new shirt and when I pulled it out of the bag Malik said, "Oh, another Barney shirt?" Good times.
3. Playing the card game Bullshit with my mom, aunt, & younger cousins. Yelling bullshit at each other and everyone dropping the F bomb when they get called out for putting down bogus cards. Good times.