Tuesday, January 09, 2007

A lovely afternoon of Starbucks etiquette and morons

I used the last 20 minutes of my lunch hour to walk to Starbucks for a latte. Its so damn windy, I basically get blown to Starbucks.

On my way there, I was entranced by a man that was walking in front of me who was so distracted by his cell phone, that he didn't realize the sidewalk had ended and he stumbles off of the sidewalk into the street.

Finally, in Starbucks, I am the fifth person in line. The lady behind me thinks that if she stands very close to me that the line will go faster. She is standing so close, in fact, as she raises her arm, she hits my purse. And as she lowers her arm, she hits my purse. With the second hit she said she was sorry and I wanted to turn around and say, “back up you stupid cow”. But I didn’t. I haven’t the slightest inclining why she was raising and lowering her arm, in the first place. I realize later that I think she was fluffing her feathered bangs. HOT!

After I ordered my latte, I went to look at Starbucks merchandise near the drink pick up counter. Purse Puncher goes and stands AT the drink pick up counter. Better yet, HOVERS at the drink pick up counter. The guy making the drinks, Eric, is quite possibly the most annoying barista I have ever encountered. He starts talking to Purse Puncher in a British accent and starts singing a song about foam. Christ! My drink comes up. Eric says, “grande triple non fat latte” and I start to approach the pick up counter to get my drink. Purse Puncher says, “no, I ordered a venti”. I wanted to say, “well, of course you did stupid cow because that drink is mine. Now, if you wouldn’t mind backing up for the second time!” But I didn’t.

On my way back, I was entranced by a man that was standing at a corner trying to cross the street but cross traffic had a green light. He was approached by a homeless man asking him for money and in order to avoid the homeless man, this jackass steps out into the street and almost gets hit by a car… twice!


lethes said...

after being so distracted and entranced, i think you're lucky YOU didn't get hit by a car on the way home.

Ikes said...

That one made me smile. I think it's good to think those things but then not say them exactly as you think them...I think people who exercise this philosophy may tend to live longer less-bruised lives.

Good story.